Hold on…

Through the years it has been difficult for me to be the Christian I truly want to be. Maybe more so than others..

You see growing up in a house where my family did not attend church ,and I was kinda of the outcast. When they did attend church it was completely separate from the church I went to. I would stay the night with my best friend just to go to church on Sunday morning.

I often asked God why did He give me this family and this burden. No, my family are not atheist ,but actually do consider themselves as Christians. Still I find myself different from them.

Through my life I would her the words “lighten up”, “don’t be so serious” , or ” you are not going to hell for that”. The worst times are when I would do something ungodly they would gladly bring it up. It was a struggle to explain to them why I did certain things or why I did NOT do certain things ,because I was still a child leanring God’s word. It was even harder to try to not mess up in front of them ,because of the fear of being judged by them.

I would often get envious of my friend ,because her family attend church with her. I would wish so badly that one day I could have family like her.

I now see that God has place me in this family for a reason…

Whenever one of them is in a dark place or having big problem in their life they ask for me to pray for them. Even though they have seen me fail multiple times deep down they know I have a relationship with God.

I think now at the age of 22 I am slowly starting to see that I will not be stuck in this same situation forever. I just have to hold on a little longer.

8 Comments

  1. Brandon Adams

    I love my family as well. Still, there are things that make me wonder why I “drew that lot”. I caught myself wondering that just the other day. Not spiritual things, necessarily – they are Christians and wise. But I still feel very different from them in almost every way, almost like I was misplaced.

    My experience is that God buttressed my love for my family while eventually surrounding me with like-minded believers who carried more similar passions to mine. It took some time, but God saw to it. I pray he’ll do the same for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rick Christensen

    You are very welcome! I don’t think there is a higher honor or blessing than to be a person who others ask for prayer. It is not often easy. I have fallen short many times on my walk of faith. You, at a young age have already discovered the key when that happens….get up again, get going, and talk it over with God as you trust Him above all others!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rick Christensen

    How awesome others are asking you to pray for them! Whst a blessing an honor! Your actions speak louder than your words so it is clear they are seeing the “new” you. Thank you for sharing your walk of faith and being a source of prayer and strength for those in need. I am really proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

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